Sometimes we hold onto things only to realize that they come back to us once we let them go. Perhaps that’s a person, but maybe…maybe it’s a talent or a dream. Sometimes we have to remember that every moment we live is a moment in our lives. Right now. How do you want to live your life? Waiting for things to get better? Wishing that people change? What can you do in this moment that reflects the type of life you want to live? Breathe. We cannot control the path our lives take, but we can control what we do in each moment.
So yeah… by basis of this post’s title everyone reading this can probably guess I had a run in with one in my lifetime.
So, after that experience, what would I recommend other’s who find themselves in the cross-hairs of one of these creatures? Hmm … I mean, this is hard because the victim typically has little say in the matter.
The only truth is that first and foremost you should check to see if you’re *actually* dealing with this sort of swamp creature and not one of it’s cousins like a ‘narcissist’ etc. Once you’ve confirmed a total lack of empathy… you probably should enter into what I would call “damage control”. You will get hurt, there’s no getting around it, but you do have some control over how you get hurt and when.
One of the greatest truths is that they will never stop. Seriously. They’ve lived their entire lives getting what they want this way, so you have to conclude ( from their perspective ) they have no reason to change and, in fact, have been rewarded time and time again for it.
Grats for them. Now time to cut them out of your life, job, mental space, etc.
I’m serious, there is no other way to save yourself. Quit your job ( you can always go back to the company if you leave on innocuous terms ), quietly slip away in the background of that person’s life and disappear. If you make too much noise on the way out they’ll simply dig in their heals and target you more.
That’s all the advice though. You’re unfortunately on your own so if you have one with murderous intent, call the police.
I can guarantee you that in every conversation there is a turning point where one voice dominates over the other. At this turning point the parties either reach a contentious or one breaks down and turns the remaining conversation into a “shit show”, or a “pissing fight”.
It’s not all done with words, but you’ll know it when you see it. For example when you’ve found yourself the target of a bully, the subject of gossip and lies – while you have a new problem to handle – the debate is over … and you’ve won. The loser is just trying to delegitimize your point by attacking your character rather than your argument, which has already been found to be immutable.